Category Archives: My Story

It Is Only Temporary

The past few weeks have been tough. One problem piles on top of another. I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point. It has to stop. There has to be a reason, something I can do that will turn this around.

My mom passed away. In addition to the emotions of losing her suddenly, this has significantly depleted my savings with plane tickets, the funeral and other unexpected expenses. My property taxes doubled dipping into another financial resource. Things at work have been busier than usual and because I haven’t been on top of things like I usually am we are facing innumerable issues that could have been avoided. I haven’t caused them, but under normal circumstances I would have prevented them.

On and on things pile up.

The Halloween party I planned for months was postponed because I was away taking care of things after my mom passed. It was moved to a weekend that wasn’t just windier than normal but it happened on a day we had a tornado touch down not far from my house. This forced the haunted maze I had built outside to be recreated indoors.

There’s more. It keeps going but you get the idea.

I believe in the law of attraction….at least to an extent and so I believe that although I couldn’t have done anything about my mom passing or the tornado many other problems are being attracted to me because of something I’m doing or thinking. I’m honestly trying to correct this.

And yet it piles on. The load is getting to be more than I can carry.

At yoga Monday night the instructor said something repeatedly that she has never said before. “However you are feeling, it is temporary. It will pass.”. I can’t help but feel this is something I need to hear….that I need to remind myself that what is happening right now in my life is temporary. These problems I am facing will pass.

I can do this!

Getting Back to Life After a Death

As many of you know, I’ve been absent the past 2 weeks due to a death in my family. My mother passed away unexpectedly after an accident on the farm where she volunteered. It was tragic and sad, and there is still much to deal with. I’ve been debating what, if anything I should say on here regarding what has been going on in my life. In the end I have decided to share a short list of the things I have learned thus far (in no particular order).

1. There isn’t always time later.
2. You can’t please everyone, nor should you try.
3. Make your wishes known before you die. Write them down, share them with loved ones.
4. Have a will. It can be as simple as leaving one person you trust in charge of dispensing your assets, but have a legal, notarized document.
5. Even if you don’t have a lot of assets, create and fund a trust (I now know what this means).
6. Destroy documents that are past record retention requirements – no one needs to go through medical records from the 1980’s, even if you sustained a major injury.
7. Keep a list of your accounts, user names and passwords locked up in a safe. It is so much easier if your loved ones can access all your information and knows what accounts should be closed.
8. Password protect your phone and computer – but make sure at least one other person knows how to get into your devices.
9. Keep current statements for all of your accounts so your loved ones know how much money you have, where it is and what you owe.
10. List a Payable on Death person for each of your bank accounts. This gives your loved one instant access to your money to help pay outstanding debts.
11. It is not enough to name an executor. You have to give this person the information they will need to handle everything when you are gone.

There’s more…much more…but this is enough for now. Death is a part of life. It is difficult enough to deal with your emotions when a loved one passes. Dealing with the seemingly endless details on top of that is almost unbearable. Over the next several months I will be getting all of my information together. How about you?

FREE Today Only – Learn 4 Secrets That Will Change Your Life!

Have you ever wondered, “Is this really all there is?” My life used to consist of work, chores, taking care of the kids, and a couple hours of TV to unwind before I went to bed. After my divorce I met people who helped me realize that there really is more out there – a LOT more! My life has changed in ways I would never have believed possible.

As a result of everything I learned, I published my first book in April – Thriving not Surviving: Bravely Pursue a Life That Will Blow Your Mind! It is a straightforward guide for changing your thinking in a way that will help you move from simply surviving to thriving. I’ve done it and so can you! (see below for an excerpt from the book)

If you haven’t downloaded it yet, you can download the Kindle version for FREE today only (the paperback version is also available but not eligible for the promotion). Go grab it and let me know what you think! Miss the promotion? Email me at gratefulsinglemoms@yahoo.com and I will notify you of the next promotion!

After you read the book, please leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads. It helps more than you know!

I was fortunate enough to be able to include writing from two of our fellow bloggers as well:

The Wonderful and Wacky World of One Single Mom

A Creative PTSD Gal

Click the image below to get your free copy today!

Excerpt:

We are inundated day in and day out with messages of lack, things we don’t have but desperately need. Is it any wonder we struggle to feel grateful for the things we have? And yet gratitude is the one thing that will always make us feel happier.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and unhappy at the same time.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and lonely at the same time.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and angry at the same time.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and less fortunate at the same time.

How much happier would you feel if you spent more time focusing on the good things in your life? If you thought about the amazing friends you have, how much you love your kids, and how lucky you are to even just be alive, what would your life be like?

All it takes is a little practice. Now that you have (hopefully) accepted that you can choose your perspective in a situation, you can also decide to feel gratitude for whatever lesson, success or gain you have received as well. You can choose to actively seek out positive aspects of your life, even the smallest ones, until you can fully appreciate how fortunate you really are.

Even if you just feel grateful for your morning cup of coffee, the fact you have food for lunch and a job to go to every day, you will improve your life by simply opting to feel grateful for these things.

FREE Today Only – Learn 4 Secrets That Will Change Your Life!

Have you ever wondered, “Is this really all there is?” My life used to consist of work, chores, taking care of the kids, and a couple hours of TV to unwind before I went to bed. After my divorce I met people who helped me realize that there really is more out there – a LOT more! My life has changed in ways I would never have believed possible.

As a result of everything I learned, I published my first book in April – Thriving not Surviving: Bravely Pursue a Life That Will Blow Your Mind! It is a straightforward guide for changing your thinking in a way that will help you move from simply surviving to thriving. I’ve done it and so can you! (see below for an excerpt from the book)

If you haven’t downloaded it yet, you can download the Kindle version for FREE today only (the paperback version is also available but not eligible for the promotion). Go grab it and let me know what you think! Miss the promotion? Email me at gratefulsinglemoms@yahoo.com and I will notify you of the next promotion!

After you read the book, please leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads. It helps more than you know!

I was fortunate enough to be able to include writing from two of our fellow bloggers as well:

The Wonderful and Wacky World of One Single Mom

A Creative PTSD Gal

Click the image below to get your free copy today!

Excerpt:

We are inundated day in and day out with messages of lack, things we don’t have but desperately need. Is it any wonder we struggle to feel grateful for the things we have? And yet gratitude is the one thing that will always make us feel happier.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and unhappy at the same time.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and lonely at the same time.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and angry at the same time.

It is impossible to feel both grateful and less fortunate at the same time.

How much happier would you feel if you spent more time focusing on the good things in your life? If you thought about the amazing friends you have, how much you love your kids, and how lucky you are to even just be alive, what would your life be like?

All it takes is a little practice. Now that you have (hopefully) accepted that you can choose your perspective in a situation, you can also decide to feel gratitude for whatever lesson, success or gain you have received as well. You can choose to actively seek out positive aspects of your life, even the smallest ones, until you can fully appreciate how fortunate you really are.

Even if you just feel grateful for your morning cup of coffee, the fact you have food for lunch and a job to go to every day, you will improve your life by simply opting to feel grateful for these things.

Download my Book for FREE Today Only!

If you haven’t downloaded my book yet, you can download the Kindle version for FREE today only (the paperback version is also available but not eligible for the promotion). Go grab it and let me know what you think! After you do, please leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads. It helps more than you know!

For those of you who don’t yet know about my book, it is a reflection of how I’ve changed my thinking in such a dramatic way over the past 7 years that I have literally gone from surviving to thriving. I was fortunate enough to be able to include writing from two of our fellow bloggers as well:

The Wonderful and Wacky World of One Single Mom

A Creative PTSD Gal

Click the image below to get your free copy today!

As always, I’m sincerely grateful for the support I receive from all of you!

How Safe Are Our Schools?

My property taxes are going up. By a lot. Not the normal “life costs more every year” kind of way that I would expect. My taxes are doubling.

Why? Because a kid in Parkland walked into a school and killed 17 people.

The government is responding in typical fashion. Public buildings all over Florida are locking down. I work for the local government in a building that now has locked doors and a metal detector that all citizens must go through before they are allowed to enter (employees are able to enter without going through the metal detectors). My daughters’ school has hired 3 extra police officers to have on campus full time – that’s a total of 4. Every month the school practices what to do if a shooter comes on campus. At the elementary school they have changed all the door knobs on each classroom so that they can’t be unlocked. Only the teacher and the administration can open the doors.

All of this costs money and it has to come from somewhere.

I know it sounds like I’m complaining about the money. I’m not. My heart goes out to victims of violent crimes all over the country – not just those involved but also their loved ones. I can’t even begin to imagine how I would feel if my kids were in that situation. I couldn’t agree more that something has to be done.

But are we doing the right thing?

This isn’t going to be another post about guns and whether anyone needs to be able to buy an AR-15 (I shared my opinion about the right to bear arms in the post Protect the Beaten and Oppressed with the Constitution). What frightens me is that we are building walls, thinking that we will keep those who want to hurt us far enough away so that they can’t. If they can’t get in the school they can’t shoot the people inside the school.

This masks the symptom without solving the problem. “Hey doc. My arm hurts when I lift it over my head.” The doctor replies, “Don’t raise your arm.”

We lock down our schools to protect our kids. “If someone comes into a school with a gun people will die.” The answer we’re given, “Don’t let guns in the school.” Simple, right?

But if someone wants to kill students and can’t get into the school they certainly have other options. They’re not going to back down just because we’ve locked the door. They’ll shoot kids through the fence as they’re walking between buildings, or outside for PE or recess. They’ll wait until the kids leave school and open fire as they get on the bus – or as the bus drives down the street. Even if we take away all guns, they won’t quit. They’ll build a bomb that can be thrown over a fence onto a building. They’ll find a way.

Because all we are really doing is forcing them to think of another way. And we underestimate them if we think they won’t.

We need to be addressing the root of the problem. I don’t have the answer. I wish I did. I think a drastic change in the way we approach education and social services will be necessary.

Yesterday I watched a video that got me thinking that real change is possible. Judge Pratt thinks about law in a way I believe speaks to the kind of change I feel is needed. Her passion for justice goes beyond enforcing the law. She seeks to fix the problem at the source, one defendant at a time.

She has a Ted Talk I want to look for but the interview I watched is below:

Procedural Justice by Judge Pratt

I’d love to hear your thoughts!