All posts by Dee Kelly

I'm a single mom who has gone through my share of struggles. As I work to improve my life I also hope to help others along the way. It hasn't been easy but it is always worth it.

On Friends & Friendships

I love this perspective on friendship. She makes so many great points I just had to share!

HappymessHappiness

imagesSocial media has made it possible for people to become friends to anyone around the globe merely through the click of a button. I think it’s generally a good thing. My need for friendship isn’t too much but once I decide to build one, I intend to make it genuine as much as I can. Somehow, maintaining friendships can be hard work but so worth it at the same time because our friendships are one of the most influential and essential parts of our life. Recently, I’ve been pondering quite often about my friends and friendships. The friends worth keeping and friendships worth saving. The fact of the matter is that, my social circle is quite noticeably shrinking. I don’t see that as a bad thing. I actually think I quite understand now what they mean with “less is more” and “quality over quantity.”

images (1)I first arrived in Kuwait on the 1st…

View original post 1,175 more words

What Happens When We Disrupt What We Are Doing?

I’ve been trying to write today’s post…but work keeps disrupting my thoughts. Or perhaps my thoughts of today’s post are disrupting my work. I am torn between what I am passionate about, and what is, at least for now, necessary.

When my thoughts are divided this way I’m not giving 100% of myself to either task. But this is how we live our busy lives these days, isn’t it?

I’m trying to get better; to give my full attention to one activity at a time, but with life coming at me from every direction this can be difficult. My daughter will come into the kitchen while I’m making dinner or washing the dishes. I want to listen to her, I really do. But I have to teach myself to either stop what I’m doing so I can look at her and truly hear what she’s saying, or ask her to wait until I’m finished.

How many times has she said something to me, to which I nod or otherwise acknowledge, only to realize after the fact I completely missed what she said?

Her: “Can I go to my friend’s house Friday night?”
Me (after nodding): “Wait, what did you just say?”

I’ve caught myself checking texts, emails, or WordPress notifications while my daughter is practicing gymnastics, too anxious to find out what I’m missing to wait until she’s finished. My daughter sees this, I know she does, and I try not to…but it’s so tempting.

How much of my life am I missing because I’m looking at my phone instead of what’s in front of me?

Her: “Did you see me Mom?”
Me: “No, sorry. I missed it!”

At work I’ll be focusing on an issue, a problem that needs to be solved, when suddenly an email will pop up begging to be read, demanding my immediate attention. And suddenly I’m pulled into some other project, the original task left unfinished, half done until I remember what it was I’d been working on. My boss insists this is necessary, this juggling act in which nothing is completed well, but is at least finished in the end.

How much more would I get done if I could ignore the emails just for a little while, until I’m finished?

Her: “When will this be completed?”
Me: “When I can give it some attention.”

And speaking of work, I have a new problem requiring my attention. Maybe I’ll get back to this later, or maybe this is enough for now…

This post is in response to the daily writing prompt Disrupt

How Do You Overcome the Froth of Social Media?

Honestly, I want to know.

If you know how to filter out all the meaningless, useless chatter on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other platform…please let me know. I know my friends, my contacts, my connections, are creating meaningful posts. I just can’t seem to find them amid the gossip, the whining, the complaining, the ranting.

I truly value friendship and in an attempt to maintain a connection with the people that have come into my life I connect with them on these platforms, but then I fail to follow through. I scroll through Facebook looking for an important message, something personal and relevant to the people I care about. But I give up after scrolling through the ads and the “what I had for dinner” posts, the check-ins that let everyone know exactly where you are every minute of every day.

I’ve connected with people from around the US and even different countries, including some friends I made a couple years ago in Spain, but I can’t find their posts among the insignificant, inconsequential information that seems to be so important to everyone.

I just don’t have time to read about every moment. I honestly, sincerely care about these people but I just can’t. Am I the only one?

So many are using these platforms to validate their anger; to justify their rants; to commiserate with others. And with each “like” of these negative messages we are rewarding our friends for complaining about their bad day, their bad luck, their misfortune. We don’t want to tell them publicly that their whining will only bring them more things to complain about. We don’t tell them how good they are becoming at moaning and groaning, instead of taking action. We don’t want to seem critical so we don’t suggest that they look for something positive. Instead we “like” their post or we give them the teary-eyed emoji to let them know we care, and we scroll down to the next tirade, perhaps someone complaining about the government this time.

I had taken a break from social media, almost entirely cut myself off, and yet I miss these connections and want to find a better way. I know others do it. It’s possible, perhaps I just need to learn how.

This post is in response to the daily writing prompt Froth

What Was Lost Has Now Been Found

A week ago today I was writing a post about the word prompt “churn”. Although at the time I was staying in a beautiful beach condo with nothing to do but write, there were some things that happened that upset me more than they should have. Because I didn’t sleep well these events caused me to start the negative self-talk I’ve worked so hard to reprogram.

Fortunately I was aware of what I was doing and so I didn’t lose the entire day to self-pity. I didn’t let the spiral of recrimination and fear take over. I saw what was happening, I knew why and I stopped it. Allowing myself to continue was not productive. It would not bring back the lost item; it would not get my book finished.

And because of this experience I have grown.

It is scary to pursue a lifelong dream. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful, exciting, and completely amazing to be so close to reaching a goal I once thought impossible. But also absolutely terrifying. It’s so easy to let self-doubt crawl in, worry that I’m not prepared enough. And so I have made it impossible for me to back down. I have announced to the world (well, my world) that my book will be available, and so it will. I have invited friends and family over for a book launch on 4/28. There’s no backing down now. I’m 100% committed. Ready or not, this will be done.

I also told my daughter what I had lost. I accepted full responsibility and explained to her that I would replace it because what had happened was not her fault. And when I did this, she learned how it feels when the person truly responsible stands up and makes the wrong things right. In that moment, I honestly felt that the cost of the lost item was worth the lesson I was able to teach. I was grateful I could turn what had felt like a catastrophic event into something so positive. That would have been enough.

And yesterday I found what had been lost. I found it somewhere I’ve checked 100 times. I was certain it wasn’t there. And yet it has been found.

Everything really will be okay.

Your best 5 minutes

This is excellent advice about letting go of regrets and simply putting your best out there!

Mentality

A couple of week ago I attended a conference on personal growth. 

At first we all had the perception it would be a bunch of people giving motivational speeches about tactics and ways to be the best you can be and all that crap.

Because that doesn’t work. Not for us. Not for the people that have tried so very hard to fight their doubts and negative thoughts about themselves.

It is a lot harder than just ‘do your best’.

But this was different.

Jamie Edwards spoke to us. Rather, he spoke to me on a personal level.

banner-img-2

He was engaging and inspiringly positive. He has worked with footballers such as Joe Hart, and wants to expand to young women who suffer from confidence and mental problems.

He brought up so many good points that everyone should take away with them, however I think these are essential for those who…

View original post 285 more words

This is How I Ignited the Fire Within Me

I like to think of myself as creative. I love crafting something from nothing, creating something that is uniquely me. More than just writing, I honestly enjoy drawing, painting, sewing, crochet, cross-stitch…really anything that begins with a blank slate and ends with something beautiful.

And yet I’m also logical, analytical. I love math and science. This weekend I had 8 teenagers excited about growing crystals…take that public education! I enjoy solving puzzles and logic problems. How many of you can say you’ve taken a class in symbolic logic, or even know what that is? And yet in college I took not one, but two classes in which we turned words, sentences, into math problems that could be determined to be either true or false by solving the formula. And I loved it.

I’m not sure where this dichotomy in me comes from but it has served me well. One of the reasons I’m successful at my job is my ability to understand a problem, logically break it into its parts and then creatively devise a solution that others might have missed. It is this use of my imagination that has brought me satisfaction in a career that would otherwise be considered solely analytical.

But it’s not who I am. It’s simply what I do.

I’ve been unhappy with my job for a while now, searching for something to do that will be more fulfilling. I feel a need to help, to contribute in some way and where I am now my ability to do either is crippled by the limited thinking of those in power. I’m not saying this is wrong, only that it’s no longer a good fit for me and who I want to be. I’ve looked at many possibilities but found none particularly inspiring. And so, out of a desperate need to feel like I’m creating something meaningful I began to write.

And this is how I have discovered, quite by accident, that when someone is doing something that is completely true to who they are, that resonates deep in their core, they become luminescent; they glow with possibilities. Their excitement and ardor for what they are doing radiates from them and draws other people to them.

I have found this in my writing. I have never before experienced such intense passion for any project I have undertaken. My desire to create has been reawakened. It has lit a fire in me that others are noticing, and now they want to be part of it too.

Because I suddenly understand what it means to follow a passion, I want that for my girls. I want to tell them that they don’t have to settle for a job that will pay the bills. Yes, they will need to have a roof over their head and food on the table, but it is now equally important to me that they discover what it is that will make them glow, what will ignite that spark within them that I’ve only just identified in myself.

I want this for my friends. The treasured people in my life who have done the best they could with what they have. Many are just like I was, pushing through the daily grind, counting on being “happier when”….well, that was a different post. But it’s true. They can choose to be happy. They can look for passion and follow that dream. They don’t have to give up what they have now, but I want them to know it’s there. They can find it.

I want that for people who read this blog. I’ve said this before but I’m repeating it here…your comments, support, passion and inspiration have all added fuel to the fire. You are amazing and I’m grateful to join you on your journey and welcome you into mine.

I want that for anyone I haven’t met yet but might meet in the future. So many people fail to understand that there is more out there for them than just getting by. There is another way. I didn’t know it either. It’s okay.

We can do this! Together! Join me.

This post is in response to the daily writing prompt Luminescent

rushhh-to reach anywhere NO!

I love this reminder to appreciate each step of your journey!

FeelPurple

I am not in a rush,

To reach anywhere,

Step by step, one by one

I am climbing up my stair,

Every step I feel, having its own flair,

The curvy, the narrow, a little high or little low,

Every step I explore has its own allure,

Feeling the beauty in every step I take,

Not losing the charm, in climbing stairs in galore,

No fumble, no tumble,

Step by step, one by one,

I am not in a rush,

To reach anywhere!

View original post