When Do We Stop Letting Our Past Define Us?

We are all products of our past, what has happened to us up to this point has shaped who we are. But at what point do we stop talking about our history and simply be who we have become?

If you know I grew up poor with barely enough money for food, do you appreciate more the fact that I can pay my bills without worrying where the money is coming from?

If you know I was teased, called fat even though I wasn’t, do you better understand what an achievement it is for me to feel good about the way I look?

If you know my mother never played with us as kids, telling us she was never taught how to play, do you grasp the difference in my parenting style?

If you know my ex used my fear to keep me from leaving, do you have greater compassion for the strength it took to walk away?

Am I a better person because of what I’ve been through? I got divorced almost 7 years ago and still sometimes the thought passes through my mind….if they knew where I started then…

My goal in writing about my past is to let others know that real change is possible. Wherever you are starting, however bad it is if you choose to make a change, you can. It may be difficult in the beginning. It may seem impossible. You may need professional help, someone more qualified than me. But it is possible, if you take that first step.

And yet I also have this lingering feeling…that I somehow have to justify where I am by showing how far I’ve come. As if it means more that I can confidently walk into a Meetup with 50 strangers because speaking even to one person felt impossible once upon a time.

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14 thoughts on “When Do We Stop Letting Our Past Define Us?”

  1. I use my past to fuel my present. In my current situation, when I get discouraged, I remember where I used to be, how I used to be. I admire how transparent this piece is. Progress, is progress. I’m glad you’ve made it thus far and wish you much success in whatever health way you grow in the future. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Exactly! I also talk about my past a lot so that people get to know change is possible! People can get out of any situation if they really want to.. life is beautiful though it doesn’t have all the good moments in its pocket but it’s worth living..

    Liked by 1 person

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