What once was, is no more. When you juxtapose the past with the present what do you see? How does today compare? Does who you are today rival who you were yesterday?
For years I remained essentially the same. Year after year, my beliefs stayed consistent; my core values never varied. Any attempt at self-Improvement was squashed by those around me who felt threatened by any attempt to change. Each day was essentially the same, the routines carved in stone.
Over time I convinced myself that this consistency was a noble attribute. I fooled myself into thinking that I did not need to grow because as an adult I had reached the end of that part of my journey. I bought into the erroneous belief that only people with serious problems had to change. Others felt that if I wanted to be different it reflected negatively on them; if I improved myself it meant they were somehow not good enough; if I continued to grow I might leave them.
But deep inside, a piece of me knew that I needed to change.
In February 2011 I faced a crossroads. I had interviewed for two different positions. One would easily maintain the status quo, allow life to continue in NH the way it had always been. The other would take me to a new life in Florida where everything was unknown.
We moved to Florida and nothing has been the same since. My life today is completely different from the one I left behind. I am completely different from the person I was. There are times my past seems so foreign it’s almost as if it happened to someone else.
I won’t deny, growing pains are real. I learned most lessons the hard way. I fought and struggled; I read and researched; I denied and rebuffed. I felt alone, scared, and unsure of the right path. But through it all I changed. In fact, I have changed more in the past 7 years than I did in the 20 years leading up to those years. Given the freedom to truly be who I wanted to be I flourished.
And this is just the beginning. I don’t know where this road will take me, but this is far from the end.
This post is in response to the daily writing prompt Juxtapose