I have made choices in life, done things I am not proud of. I should have known better; I should have done differently. I should have been someone else. I try not to regret what has happened; I can’t change the past.
Yet “if only” runs through my mind from time to time. If only I had gotten an education degree, maybe I would be a teacher now. If only I had stayed in better shape, I wouldn’t have to work so hard to get back into shape now. If only I had known how to invest better when I was younger, there’s a chance I could retire earlier. If only I had known my worth, perhaps I would have married differently.
What would my life be like now, if only?
Sometimes self-doubt has held me back, halted my progress. Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I strong enough? What if my ex says something? I try not to jump the gun; it’s not good to act prematurely.
Yet “what if” invades my thoughts sometimes. What if I fail? What if they laugh? What if they realize I don’t know what I’m talking about? What if they decide they don’t like me? What if he retaliates? What if I lose everything?
Regret lives in the past; fear exists only in the future. In any given moment I have limitless possibilities to experience right now, without dividing my attention to what has already occurred and may happen. So from this point forward I will focus on today. I will leave the past behind me. I will worry about tomorrow when it comes.
Today I will celebrate this moment. Will you join me?
This post is in response to the daily writing prompt Premature