Do you partake of all life has to offer?
I never used to have time for fun, the things that now add so much to my life. I’ve always been a voracious reader, but while I was married I never read. I love bike riding and now ride regularly, but I didn’t even own a bicycle until after my divorce. Writing has been a dream of mine, but until now I kept my stories locked in my head, mentally writing during sleepless nights.
Well, like so many others I lost myself in that relationship. I am not blaming my ex as the responsibility lies with me, however there’s no escaping the fact I let go the parts of me that didn’t align with who he was. Honestly, I thought this was how relationships worked.
But it’s not.
Or at least it doesn’t have to be. I truly believe I can one day be in a relationship that allows me to do all the things that matter to me. It won’t be easy to find, as I’m learning a lot, possibly most, men seem to have an expectation that once a relationship begins they will become the center of my world. They may be willing to share me with my kids, that’s not negotiable; but at the same time they expect me to put everything else aside.
I’m a bit of a relationship junkie, because I’ve never been good at casual dating, and each of my relationships these past few years has followed a similar pattern.
Maybe it’s because my life is too full and there isn’t a lot of room for a relationship, or at least the kind that people seem to be expecting. I do admit I keep busy and have plans that stretch through September already. And since I’m talking with a friend about a trip to Italy next summer I guess it extends further than that. It’s not that I won’t make room for someone new, but I’m not leaving a gaping hole where a relationship fits.
So I’ve taken a break from dating while I allow myself to fully partake in other endeavors. It has helped me focus on my writing which I will be continuing; but I have other projects, other ideas I want to work on as well. Some involve writing and some are other creative concepts I want to try out.
I have plans for my future. Big plans. They’re grey and obscure right now but they are becoming clearer as I get closer to my goals. I’m starting to put together a strategy to start doing the things I’ve only to this point talked about doing. It’s exciting and not as scary as I’d imagined.
I’m making plans, buying tickets, charting a course. I’m sure I’ll be posting about it all as it comes. I’m grateful I can share this with all of you!
What big adventure will you embark on next?
This post is in response to the daily writing prompt Mallet