There’s a song by the band Alabama called “I’m in a Hurry (and Don’t Know Why).” This song aptly describes me. I am constantly in a hurry, always rushing from one place to the next, one task to another. Focusing on just what’s in front of me becomes nearly impossible as my overactive mind dashes off to something else while whoever or whatever is in front of me is left with far less of me.
I used to think, “Of course I’m in a hurry! I have so much to do there just isn’t enough time in the day!”
Well yes, it’s true that I do have a lot that I cram into each day. I’m not sure speeding from one to the next actually saves me any time though. I’ve honestly tried to calculate this in my head, in an attempt to justify my frenzied approach to life. (I’m a logical person who loves math, don’t judge!)
The numbers don’t add up. I don’t save enough time scurrying around, worrying about saving a minute here or there, to make up for the fun that is lost in my life.
The song begins:
“I’m in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life’s no fun.
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why.”
This song runs through my mind sometimes while I’m fighting traffic on my way to pick up the kids after work. As I lose patience with the person going faaar too slow in front of me, I anxiously wait for an opening in the adjacent lane so I can move to where the traffic is going faster. I zip in, only to hit a red light. As I sit there, my frustration building, I become angry with the person who had been crawling along…the one who made me miss the light…the reason I’m sitting here with NOTHING TO DO but wish they’d go back to wherever they’ve come from, certain that only tourists have time to drive so painfully slow.
Then the light turns green and I race off, grateful to be moving again, away from my thoughts.
I do this nearly every day, even though I’m aware that this is taking any fun out my commute. I have had some success by using my time in the car better. I have found when I’m using the time listening to podcasts I at least feel like I’m being somewhat productive. But then I end up behind another tourist (has to be) and I find myself looking for the opening in the next lane instead of truly hearing what is being said on the podcast.
In fact, I find myself doing this even when I’m not in a hurry at all, when I know that no matter how long it takes me I am going to be early arriving at my destination.
But I am aware I am doing this, and because I am aware I can eventually change my behavior. I can change the way I think, the way I feel. I have been congratulating myself for years for being so efficient, so productive; it will take time to undo what I have taught myself. This is not how I want to live my life. I want to enjoy every minute of my life, even the ones spent commuting to and from work next to the tourists.
This post is in response to the daily writing prompt Rush