Being a single mother has filled me with questions; questions about myself, my life, parenting and so much more. I wonder who I am, if not a wife and mother. I wonder what I really want out of life, and how I’m going to get there alone. I wonder how I can not only help my kids cope with divorce but learn and grow through our experiences.
Being a single mom of two young girls has been the scariest thing I’ve ever attempted. Managing the house, fixing problems as they come up, living with only one income and handling everything alone was overwhelming at first. Add to that the demands of two children – cooking meals, homework, reading stories at bedtime, packing lunches, extra-curricular activities, birthday parties, school events – and I felt like a juggler standing on one hand trying to keep the balls in the air with just my feet!
Sometimes I wonder how I made it through those early days, but it has also been a time of the most amazing growth I have ever experienced. I never could have become the wonderful person I am now if I’d stayed in that toxic relationship. I have developed a sense of self-worth I never knew was missing. I have achieved things I didn’t know I could accomplish alone. I have learned that I really can juggle with just my feet while standing on my hand, and I have developed friendships with people who will catch the balls that I might otherwise drop.
My girls never would have grown into the strong, confident leaders they are becoming. Watching them today I feel a different sense of wonder. It’s the feeling you get when watching the most beautiful sunset. They’re not perfect (none of us is) but they are remarkable and often surprise me with how grown up they are.
Knowing how far we’ve come, the struggles we’ve been through, I feel a sense of wonder at how much control we really do have over our lives. The world is ours!